Andrew Jones If W wins, Alec Baldwin’s
going to Canada. If Gore wins, we’re all going to Hell. Send
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The UCLA community was blessed this last Tuesday with a
“Halloween Rally” featuring none other than
Frankenstein. Only upon his approaching the lectern did the crowd
recognize the lurching, lumbering, badly made-up carcass as Al
Gore.
His appearance here in Westwood, as part of his national
“Prosperity Tour,” highlighted much of why Mr. Bore
will not be our next president. The very name of the tour is
vintage Gore ““ just as Al takes credit for the Internet, he
also takes credit for our entire economic prosperity (which began
under George Bush’s administration) and for the budget
surplus, accomplished almost entirely on the back of a now-feeble
military.
I do respect, however, the few who did show up to see the man
talk. The support, I would assume, is genuine, and while any real
fervor was absent, the Democratic Party had to nominate someone.
Why, you ask, is Al Gore a losing bet? Certainly, Bore the
Extraordinaire will not fail in his bid for the presidency for lack
of a strong economy. If the current administration could claim
credit for economic health, Bush would be behind by 15 points.
Al will not lose because of negative media coverage ““ in
fact, inaccurate portrayals of an “Academic Al” have
reinforced the false notion that Gore is the “smarter”
candidate, when in fact, it was Al who failed to complete degrees
at both Vanderbilt’s Divinity and Law Schools. No, the reason
he will fail is because so few voters can stomach the thought of an
Al Gore America. The triumph of George W. Bush will be the triumph
of a man neither bound up in himself nor a philosophy of saving
America from itself.
From the beginning, there has only been one constant to Al Gore:
an absolute commitment to changing his beliefs whenever necessary
to further his personal gains. Al Gore, more than any other
candidate, has cast himself as a “candidate of the
issues.” By all means, let us look at the issues upon which
Gore “stands firm.”
 Illustration by MICHAEL SHAW/Daily Bruin In a speech made
November 19, 1998, Gore stated, “Every time Congress has
tried to play politics with a woman’s right to choose ““
imposing gag rules and attaching anti-choice language to any bill
they can think of ““ we have fought to stop them. And if they
try again, we’ll stop them again.” Yet on June 26,
1984, Congressman Gore voted for House Amendment 942, proposed by
Mark Siljander, R-Mi., which read “An amendment to define
“˜person’ as including unborn children from the moment
of conception.”
A month later, in a letter to a constituent, he stated,
“It is my deep personal conviction that abortion is wrong. I
hope that some day we will see the current outrageously large
number of abortions drop sharply. Let me assure you that I share
your belief that innocent human life must be
protected….”
On gay rights, Al Gore has likewise changed his views to further
his own interests. On April 16, 1981 in the Manchester (Tenn.)
Times, Gore declared “I think it (homosexuality) is wrong. I
don’t pretend to understand it, but it is not just another
normal optional lifestyle.” On Oct. 17, 1984 in The
Tennesseean, he reiterated, “I don’t pretend to have an
understanding of homosexuality that sustains a discussion of its
roots … but I do not believe it is simply an acceptable
alternative that society should affirm.”
Eleven days later, in the same newspaper, Gore declared that he
would not accept campaign funds from homosexual groups, and that he
opposed “the so-called “˜gay bill of
rights.'” On Oct. 13, 1987, speaking to the United
Press International, he declared, “I also do not think we
need a bill to protect the specific category ““ that is,
sexual preference.”
But Chameleon Al had a change of politics by 1998, telling the
homosexual-rights group Human Rights Campaign, “The cause we
celebrate tonight is not some narrow, special interest. It is
really the cause that has defined this nation since its
founding….So I say to Congress…pass the Employment
Non-Discrimination Act into law.”
Flip-Flop Al has also had a good time with bilingual education.
On Feb. 12, 1981 in the Carthage Courier, he stated “Anything
which requires our schools to delay the all-important process of
learning the language of their new country serves only to set up
additional barriers for the immigrant child.” But in a June
19, 1999 speech to the National Association of Latino Elected and
Appointed Officials, he opined, “Some will exploit the issue
of bilingual education for political gain. I believe we must
support bilingual education ““ for educational
gain.”
On trade with China, Al stated in the Sept. 1, 1992 San
Francisco Chronicle, “We totally disagree with Bush and
Quayle when they continue to grant most-favored-nation status to
one of the worst Communist dictatorships remaining in the
world.” But in an April 25 speech this year, Al apparently
forgot his former “˜ideals’, insisting “I have
stood strongly for Normal Trade Relations with China. I reaffirm
that support today.”
Liar Al has adopted campaign-finance reform as his
cause-of-the-month, despite his personal role in the Buddhist
temple fund-raising abuses. On Feb. 15, 1984, Al told the Wall
Street Journal, “I’m a strong supporter of PAC
participation in the political process … I do need to raise large
sums of money, and I have enjoyed getting involved with the PAC
community.”
Al neglected to touch on his past enjoyment in a March 27 speech
this year, telling the crowd, “One of my first contributions
to the public debate as a freshman congressman in 1978, (was) when
I argued that campaign finance reform “˜is one of the most
important steps we can take to return government to the
people.'”
You may, however, be justified in dismissing these convenient
changes of heart as politics as usual. Certainly, the Clinton/Gore
cabal has done an excellent job of lowering public expectations for
ethical political behavior.
But Reptilian Al comes to light when we examine the death of
Gore’s sister in 1984 from lung cancer precipitated by
tobacco use. Four years later, on Feb. 26, 1988, Newsday reports
Al’s proud speech to tobacco farmers: “Throughout most
of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that with my own
hands, all of my life, I put it in the plant beds and transferred
it. I’ve hoed it, I’ve dug in it, I’ve sprayed
it, I’ve chopped it, I’ve shredded it, spiked it, put
it in the barn and stripped it and sold it.”
Six years later, Cold-Blooded Al was still accepting campaign
contributions from the tobacco industry. In 1996, the New York
Times questioned Al about his continued support for the industry,
even after the death of his sister. He responded in part by noting
that “It takes time to fully absorb the most important
lessons in life.” Indeed.
In keeping with the Overbearing Al persona, let us give him the
final word. Senator Al Gore told Dick Gephardt in the Feb. 18, 1988
Democratic presidential primary debate, “I’m going to
lay it on the line here … The next president of the United States
has to be someone the American people can believe will stay with
his convictions.”
I couldn’t have said it better.