Throughout the past 20 years, I have had the unique opportunity
to observe and supervise more than 2,000 young people in one of the
entertainment industry’s most prominent and successful
internship programs. I have come to a conflicting realization: the
kids that have the most advantages are many times very
disadvantaged.
It frequently seems children born to wealthy, indulgent parents
are often cursed and their chances for success are essentially
doomed. These rich kids have the affliction of reduced ambition.
The fact that they often have little motivation and even less
discipline creates a recipe for disaster.
What do children born to rich parents who indulge their every
whim have to work for? I have found a lavish upbringing often
yields an idle, irresponsible brat, and this can sap their
ambition. Such a lifestyle may be a harmful effect on their value
system. Often, spoiled children do not adequately advance or use
their skills.
For example, I have discovered that the average 20 to
22-year-old that comes into my office has a new car, cell phone and
gas card, all provided by their parents. In addition to these
amenities, school tuition is paid for and living at home is quite
common. No doubt about it, these kids have been pampered.
Most people 20 years ago were not spoiled to the same degree.
When I was growing up, there was a word for that twenty-something
who lived at home ““ “loser”.
Experts say as more children of wealthy parents enter adulthood,
they will not only struggle with self-doubt and identity conflicts,
but will also be more susceptible to risky behavior.
Wealth fashions a passport to dangerous temptations ““ such
as illegal drug use, reckless spending, or wrecking others’
lives and property. Many of them do not work, so they do not fear
losing jobs. They hire doctors to get them drugs and lawyers to get
them out of trouble. The regular rules of society do not apply to
them and often, they are let off with little more than a slap on
the wrist. Again, they are not learning the necessary skills vital
in preventing them from achieving loser status. A loser is
inevitably what one will become unless given the proficiency
and competency required to make it in the world.
The central role of parenthood lies in preparing children for
independence. If you raise your children without knowledge of
monetary value, how are they going to gain independence,
financially and emotionally? Character develops in response to
challenge. Children who are excessively provided for by their
parents are denied the very challenges that they need to grow.
If you lifted a barbell every day with only your left arm, your
left biceps would develop and your right ones would not, due to
lack of exercise. If your biceps grew in accordance to exercise,
doesn’t it stand to reason that your character muscles would
grow in response to activity? So if parents give their kids
everything, aren’t they impoverishing them terribly?
Parents subconsciously damage their children when they deny them
appreciation for what they have. Parents need to prepare their kids
for the time when they will be responsible for themselves by
helping them to develop the healthy attitudes that are
character’s foundation.